how many times i enjoy my time v you?
how many times i relieved when having a talk?
how many times my heart overcame life troubles and sorrow when i thought of you?
it just...too many
I had many sad events and losses in my life,just like anybody,but out of them all,this felt really bad,I guess it is the worst ever till moment at least..

as we know
life is but a journey !
whether i accept this or not,it is reality
any journey can end up in a massive failure or a great success,it all depends on how one choose the path at each intersection cross..

for the time being i feel i have been trapped in a way difficult intersection,though this entrapment feel different and sadden than ever! feels like i couldn't go on v my journey anymore,many wrong decisions i have taken along the time and seems it all appeared before me at this moment..

i really want go into a long journey v a person i trully respect who also share this feeling,but i know this is just a dream or thought that cross my mind each time i go to sleep..

i cant blame you who just see my feeling as a drama and get depressed by it,i'm deeply apologize,i don't speak to anyone of my deep emotional thought so i try to just express it in a place where i guess no one will find it out..

when can i become like other people and just figure out that people around me are just passengers sitting beside me in this train of life,you don't care about me as much i do for you,but i can't stop thinking and caring about you and you..are the only one who come close to my heart ever !

i'm not sure if you are going to read this,but to be honest v you : you were the closest to my heart ever !
you have my forgive for everything,i think this is for you too..

though i wish thing go by my way,but life just not a good dream..i hope that things,wont happen again..